You know, when you do something that you really have interest in, there's a big probability that you won't be facing any problem when doing it. For instance, i love english. English is like my main interest though i might not be really good at it. My sentence structure might not be accurately correct, but hey at least i try. And for me personally, i think english is very important. Nowadays, honestly without english, it is hard to survive. Let say youre going to work at an office and your english is uhm not that good. Would you want to be a laughing stock for your office colleagues? I am Sure as hell you don't want to be one right?
So my point is learn. I mean everybody has to start somewhere. So if not now then when? I started from the bottom too. Back in standard 5 i didnt even know how to use past tense or present tense. I jumbled everything up and yeah i fucked up the essay hahaha but thank god, my teacher supported me and asked me to join his tuition and started from there i told myself: 'hey english is quite fun ey?' So i learned. Keep on learning. I listen to english songs (my way of improving my english vocab, pronunciation, word structure and many more), i communicated in english with my sister (she forced me to do so and she taught me how to pronounce brands' names correctly; Chanel, Celine and all those expensive overseas brands haha) and she even told me that she will only talk to me if i talk in english with her. So yeah whether i like it or not i have to right? Positively, it helped me A LOT. Thanks to her though. I also watched movies with english subtitles instead of malay subtitles (typical malay people will definitely choose malay sub over english sub). For me, why dont you just try the english sub just one time? Let say youre watching an english movie. Dont you think its better with english sub? Because then you'll be able to learn the word structure and i know how sometimes we dont even understand what the mat salehs are saying because they talk too fast and we are not that good in english, so by using english sub, you can figure out what they are saying and perhaps you could use it when youre communicating with people? You see there are so many ways to learn english. I personally prefer people to talk in english with me because somehow i can improve my english too.
Being in Arau is different. No offence but the people here, they dont use english daily and yes i know maybe because Arau is located all the way up in the north bound but still that is not an excuse.. right? If we really want something we will get it no matter what. That is just my personal opinion. Forgive me if im wrong. And ever since i came here (i've been here for almost 3 years now) honestly my english skills have decreased, A LOT. I cant speak english as fast as before, i cant speak english with majority of the people here, oh and i wanna tell you guys one thing. I dont know whether its just me or it is true but, whenever i speak english here, people will, you know like, dislike me. I mean like, is it wrong for me to speak in english here? Sigh. And if i speak in english here they'll be like, 'yelah dia budak tesl pandai english blabla'. Dude, no. Thats not a good attitude. If youre not good at something at least dont prevent people from doing what they love or what they're good at. Dont drag them to your level. Ya know i might not be an excellent student here but i can speak good english ok.
This is not even what i wanna do. Bachelor in Human Resouce Management. Whuut. Wtf i dont wanna do this. But i had to. I picked the wrong course and it is too late for me to quit now so whether i like it or not i must finish it. Finish what i started yeap thats the ugly truth. And it slowly kills me inside; knowing that i have to live everyday doing things i dont have interest in. So my advice to anybody who reads this, choose wisely. Doesnt matter in what aspect. Do what you have interest in, not what people ask you to do cause it is you who are going to the battlefield and fight, not them. I know how people will say 'hey dengar la cakap parents or older people they know best blabla' but sometimes maybe it is better to listen to your own instinct instead of people's voices. I am sad. How i wish i could just turn back the time and did my asasi very well so that i can live my dream of learning english. But i guess Allah has set my fate. Maybe its not my time yet to study more about english. Maybe i have to get my degree in HR scroll first. The Most Gracious and Most Merciful has set everything for me. I believe in Him. I believe in Qada' and Qadr.
I think i have many more to say regarding this matter but i forgot. Nevermind i'll tell the story later. Okay got to go. Goodnight readers (lol if i have one :p) assalamualaikum and have a good night :)
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